I need to smell like the man my girl's man could smell like

Call it the influence of watching episode after episode of Mad Men and my budding man crush on Don Draper and my desire to BE him, not because of his lovely little lady Bets, but because he's the fucking MAN, an Ad Man nonetheless. But like the above mentioned, a good, hilarious, advertising campaign still gives me wood. Weird right? Not to me. I love cleverness in all it's forms, shapes sizes and varieties, whether it be an image, a saying, a quote, an object, something randomly creepy or a dude riding an Ostrich. I guess what I'm really trying to say is, Get on my Horse.

Isn't it amazing, how something like this can make you want to smell like a real man, buy that product because it's called swagger and then not want it because it costs $34US dollars just for shipping on eBay. Did I really just eBay search for Swagger? This was not how my life was supposed to turn out.

As much as I don't want to smell like Old Spice, purely because I got doused in Old Spice as a preeb (pre-pubescent) funny practical joke it wasn't, yet I could see how funny it would be to not be the prankster and not the prankee. That said, fuck Old Spice. I don't want to smell like a man, I use Dove Cucumber and Green Tea (ffs) so smelling manly is not ranked high on my list.

Yet this ad campaign is pure fucking genius, I've watched them all like bajillion times. Because I think they're amazing... You should too, probably.



Did You Know?


Old Spice to Women: Shut up and get on my Horse

Checkout Old Spices' site, it's actually pretty LOL.

By Tobler1


Simple Mathematics


This Bee was BUZZING

Confused? Very much so was the general consensus in my head.
I certainly don't know this black and white drawing. In the original friend request she mentioned she saw the play 'Woycek'. It just so happened my mother was telling me that very day she wanted to go watch 'Woycek'.
To add to my confusion, I became suspicious. Alicia happens to be the name of my ex-Real Estate agent(wassupladiesitsyaboonholler)
So not only confused and suspicious, but jumping to conclusions.

Alicia soon helpfully revealed her true motivation and identity.

Complete with (working?) link and (too many) kisses from a stranger.

Oh wait, another message(below) to let me know the link does work. Alicia is helpful and super enthusiastic for me to join her on tour with Simon BRUCE !!

Will I get a reply ? I'm actually refreshing my facebook inbox page every 3 minutes in anticipation. But not in reality or practice.

From the continent with love,

Boony Bee



I ate

Bruschetta Olives Bread FishSalad CauliflowerFritti FriedRicotta Calamari&LemonROCKETexplosion 3 litres of beer and Olives.

Nobody wanted dessert, weak


Thanks Dustin

I knew it...

...wasn't just me who wanted to watch this;

In anticipation, I rate the film two L's up


Fun Things To Pass The Time

I'm glad delivery is not an option at Lucky Coq.


W.E.A.K. Effort

I would have dressed up for the occasion and gone with something a little more precarious perhaps;

As if you miss with both !



Need Badly Pt.2

A walrus would be great, but space is a major restriction, and I just don't know if I'm willing to sacrifice the 'discussion pit' currently occupying the empty pool in the enormous concrete day-bed I have out back.

In other not-so-news,
I Am The Walrus


Before I go to bed;

Just quickly, I always liked the first two roots manuva albums, but he kinda lost me after that.
I haven't listened to the new one but it has his head split open on the cover and that's a bit much for me at the moment.
One thing that irked me about listening to him is the frustration that occasionally may arise from listening to words that don't necessarily exist being rhymed together.
Luckily frustration made way for intrigue;
Which always leads to investigation, which I like to partake in occasionally.
It's not for I to say they won't be real words some day,

And iff has ANY say in the matter (they actually don't would you believe?) I'm SURE we'll be seeing such gems introducing tampons and mcdonalds soon enough anyway.

I also happened upon this definition and the 'example' delighted me, so much so that it has become my motto 4lyfz

Oh and,

For The

Raspberry Fools

thanks james

According to this page, a fool is the forerunner to ice cream, and as much as I dislike marketing and most of the dime-store psychology surrounding it, this seems like a clear case of getting it simply accurate as opposed to creative and/or alluring;

Ice cream - clear and concise, cream that has been frozen with ice. You may also find flavored varieties.

Fool - a cream that has been whipped and refrigerated (SPECIFICALLY NOT FROZEN) which sounds lovely, but unfortunately that's not immediately apparent from the name, in fact, I always felt too foolish to order it, let alone find out what it actually was.

But what's really in a name?

I'm all for a snappy acronym, but when a B.L.A.T has cheese I think it should be a BLATCH, and when a dish is named 'jerk' it evokes all the wrong emotions for me. For starters, unnecessary jerking actions can place food on your person, but not specifically your mouth, as is the custom.

Then there's the idea the meat will be dried or preserved i.e Jerky aka Biltong aka Schmackos and of course the obvious connotation with that annoying term people use when they are trying to be playful angry. Or when I'm actually being a jerk


it's truly delicious as we found out this evening...

"slowly but surely, yeah maan "

It was like the supreme version of one of the things I was expecting and none of the others. With reggae JUST LIKE THIS VIDEO

yeah maan punt rd, sth yarra

the banquet might be a bit much if you're some newb-jack or if you don't got 30 homies like Marnell, but defo hit up the JERK maan


You will SURELY win

Who found it so hard to believe there were so many varieties of Kit Kat recently?


Anyway, according to wikiwikipedia:

The Kit Kat has been manufactured by Nestlé for Canada, Germany, Japan, and Australia. Kit Kat bars available in the United States are manufactured under licence by The Hershey Company, a Nestlé competitor, due to a prior licensing agreement with Rowntree. Kit Kat bars are manufactured in 15 countries: UK, USA, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, Algeria, South Africa, Germany, Japan, China, Malaysia, India, Turkey, Venezuela and Bulgaria.

*yeah you can learn about all those countries by following the links kids!

Allow me to illuminate some of the more daring combinations with my trusty salmon.

* Kit Kat Original — (different taste & texture in different countries)

* Kit Kat Fine Dark — UK, Spain & Germany variant of Kit Kat Dark Chocolate

* Kit Kat Cacao 61% — Japan — newer version of Kit Kat Bitter with 61% cocoa content

* Kit Kat Sakura (Cherry blossom) — Japan —

* Kit Kat Cacao 72% — Japan — dark chocolate petits with 72% cocoa content

* Kit Kat White Creme — US permanent edition — current version of US Kit Kat White made with vegetable oil based candy coating rather than pure white chocolate

* Kit Kat White — Japan & Spain

* Kit Kat Iced Tea — Japan

* Kit Kat Caramel and Salt — Japan

Ah! Of course ! Why didn't I think of that, soooo obvious

* Kit Kat Kinako (soybean flour) — Japan

* Kit Kat Wa Guri (Chestnut flavour) — Japan

* Kit Kat Green Tea — Japan

* Kit Kat Milky White — Germany variant of Kit Kat White Chocolate

* Kit Kat Mint — UK permanent edition, US limited edition — mint flavoured milk chocolate coating

* Kit Kat Mint Chocolate — Australia — mint green colour wafers

* Kit Kat Apple — Japan

* Kit Kat Orange — UK permanent edition, US, Canada, Japan, Malaysia limited edition.

* Kit Kat International Recipe — Malaysia, Singapore and selected East Asian countries — The chocolate were made from Ghana cocoa beans thus having the tendencies to melt down very easily when compared to Kit Kat Original.

So it melts in your pocket faster?

* Kit Kat Café Latte with Hokkaidō Milk — Japan

* Kit Kat Kiwifruit — Japan

* Kit Kat Strawberry — Japan

* Kit Kat Peach — Japan

* Kit Kat Caramac — UK

* Kit Kat Chocolate Overload — Australia — Milk Chocolate outside, chocolate creme filling and chocolate wafers

* Kit Kat Gold — Japan — petits with fudge like covering and dusted cocoa powder on outside

* Kit Kat Noisette (Hazelnut) — Germany

* Kit Kat Lite — India — two finger bar with 50% less sugar

* Kit Kat Carb Alternatives — US — low carb version with 50% less sugar carbs

* Kit Kat Low Carb — UK

* Kit Kat Cantaloupe; Japan

all wrapped in a tasty slice of prosciutto

* Kit Kat Pineapple; South Africa

* Kit Kat Cappuccino; Poland

* Kit Kat Triple Berry; Japan

* Kit Kat Mango; Japan

* Kit Kat Azuki (Red Bean); Japan

* Kit Kat Green Grape Muscat; Japan[18]

* Kit Kat Caramel Macchiato; Japan (September 2008)[19]

* Kit Kat Zunda - mashed edamame beans; Japan (only in Yamagata prefecture)

* Kit Kat Hascapp - Hokkaido blueberry; Japan (only in Hokkaido prefecture)

* Kit Kat Soy Sauce - "Tokyo Limited Edition" ; Japan

-Large single finger Chunky bars-

*Kit Kat Chunky

*Kit Kat Chunky and Kit Kat Chunky Peanut Butter, as sold in the UK (September 2006)

* Kit Kat Chunky — UK, Canada, everywhere besides US, Japan , Hong Kong & India

* Kit Kat Big Kat — Japan & Hershey US version of Chunky

* Kit Kat Big Kat Bitter — Japan
not to be confused with 'Big Kath's Big Cat Litter Emporium' right next door

* Kit Kat Black — Turkey — a dark chocolate chunky

* Kit Kat Big Break — UK — extra large Chunky bar

* Kit Kat Chunky M.A.X. (Maximum Appetite Xcitement) — Canada — another extra large Chunky bar
this really speaks for itself

* Kit Kat Chunky White — limited or permanent edition in many different countries

* Kit Kat Cookie Dough — Australia

* Kit Kat Chunky Hazelnut Cream — Germany

* Kit Kat Honeycomb — Australia

* Kit Kat Caramel — US version of Kit Kat Chunky Caramel

* Kit Kat Chunky Caramel — Canada, Australia and UK

* Kit Kat Editions Golden Caramel — UK — same as Chunky Caramel

* Kit Kat Editions Caramel Dream — Germany — another Chunky Caramel

* Kit Kat Peanut butter — UK, Canada, Europe, Australia, — Chunky with peanut butter filling

* Kit Kat Editions Tiramisu — UK

* Kit Kat Extra Crispy — US — Chunky with a six layer wafer
let me guess ... Texas

* Kit Kat Strawberry; Australia and raises funds for the National Breast Cancer Foundation

* Kit Kat Cookies n Cream; Australia, released in August 2008.

-Other Kit Kat forms and shapes-

* Kit Kat Choc'n'Go — France — box of individually wrapped fingers

* Kit Kat Choc'n'Go Dark Choco — France limited edition — dark chocolate coating with caramelised cocoa pieces

* Kit Kat Delight — Italy

* Kit Kat Family Block — Australia — twelve finger family size bar

* Kit Kat Family Block Chocolate Overload — Australia

* Kit Kat I-Stick — Japan limited edition — Creamy bitter chocolate between wafers and dark chocolate coating — two stick format sold in cooler or freezer section of stores


* Kit Kat Stick — Japan — box of individually wrapped long Kit Kat fingers

* Kit Kat Stick Almond — Japan

* Kit Kat Stick Half Bitter — Japan

* Kit Kat Tablet — France — same as Kit Kat Family Blockt

* Kit Kat Ball — France — bag of round bite-size pieces

* Kit Kat Bites — US, Malaysia &, — similar to Kit Kat ball

* Kit Kat Little — Japan — newer version of Kit Kat Baby

* Kit Kat Pop Choc — UK, Germany, Poland — also identical to Kit Kat Ball

* Kit Kat Kubes — UK — square-shaped miniature pieces

* Kit Kat Chunky — The Netherlands — Bigger size Kit Kat Chunky

* Kit Kat Senses; UK & Ireland — hazelnut praline centred

* Kit Kat Chunky Duo; UK; A little larger than a Kit Kat Chunky Kingsize, and split into two separate bars.

* Kit Kat (Finger size) Almost half the size of a kit kat bar; Pakistan

* Kit Kat Watermelon Minis; Japan[18]

* Kit Kat Black Sugar Minis; Japan[18]

* Kit Kat Cone - Ice-cream cone with vanilla ice-cream covered in chocolate with a single Kit Kat
stick in the top; Japan

Can I just add I really think Autralia has put in such a WEAK effort in the Kit Kt design race.

My suggestions for new flavours.

*Kit Kat Chilli Kettle Chip, replace wafer biscuit with shattered chips

*Kit Kat Barbados Fig Marmalade, limited edition Hobart release.

*Kit Kat Vegemite BLAST , somebody is bound to but thay.

*Kit Kat Best Friend, a dog friendly version I can share with my best pal.

Ok bedtime

Oh wait

*Kit Kat Chocalatier Wine

Grover knows what's up,

"oh no no no, what you want is another little one, you know maybe 3 or 4 little ones;
but we've been having a LOT of trouble with the big hamburger.

MISTY'S Sliders


They are

On my feet.



To the power of friend;

Science has been and forever will be fun and extremely skeptical times to be had by all.

Apparently maths is still making a splash

Are you calling me slim ?

Whoever created this probably enjoys procrastination so much it took them forever to complete.


And finally, a clever mathematician illustrates the tale of a lone integer who had enjoyed quite an adventure in escaping a futuristic nightmare known only as


One hypothesis explores the possibility that an inspired burst of "forward-lateral" thinking, propels the subject, forward and sideways simultaneously, repeatedly, until desired destination appears within grasping distance.

maths X science X art = FUN

In this case guided only by a thin string of electricity, the subject focusses all the power available into a single deafening strike against the iron beam.

*how the noise looked

*possibility the subject is on some Heroes little kid Jheri curls talk to the electronics deal, my guess is like 3 parts in a trillion, improbable but not impossible;

WHATEVER the door opened and he made it to the party next door where some people were having their photos taken.


A simple formula for good times.

maths isn't for everyone;

It turns out some people would rather paint a hand.

I was going to search harder for things people do but this guido takes the cake.

In conclusion, my time could have been better spent making a flow chart for the work I didn't have.
Also I wish there was a 'hand-painted-as-bear' picture, it would have really tied this all together and made a hell of a lot more sense.

Sorry for the confusion.

If I Gave My Dog A Car Would He Even Drive It?

Today I asked a guy with heaps of hair and grease if he had a spare tire for my dog Harper.


"Nothing too big you know, like a 14inch off a hatchback" I say pointing at a honda civic parked in the street.

I live behind a garage so I know there's a pile of tires lying around somewhere waiting to be disposed of.

Turns out there were and all I had to do was carry it to the park.
*tires are dirty.

Scout wasn't particularly impressed when we returned. I think she is hungry.


The End.


Baris Bulut Karabulut

Have fun at SHOPPO !


Stage 9 Water Restriction


Where the hell is summer already?

Turns out you're wasting your time


Need badly.

Thanks the heavens for davasawa.blogspot

Game on.

A bit slow on the uptake, but this just stumbled across me;

Wow color! Look who's getting fancy !

Is a clear and concise version of events unsatisfying?
Do you crave unnecessary emotion and prefer your story sensationalized?

Check out

G ... G ... G ... GANGLAND

Brought to you by the History Channel.


You ain't heard?

Paul's got the good word.



Read more


These are my new work shoes. I bought them at new work


I like this song despite generally avoiding Lenny Kravitz. I think it's just the line
"... you belong to me..."
and looking at new work shoes that does it.


Off to work...

...sell shoes to architects


And weed,

heaps of weed.


King Kelly

"...kick his fuckin teeth out, stomp the groin, break a ribcage..."



Bear Suit

Sometime earlier this year I took a short walk to a burger spot.

I ordered and stood outside to wait.

A little ways up the lane a lone figure sat atop a milkcrate, smoking slowly.

A man in a bear suit.

At first I thought nothing of it, I imagined a charitable soul, donating a Saturday afternoon.

When he finished his smoke the headpiece was reinstated.

It was only then I noticed the alarming absence of coin-bucket and/or charity sash.

Man-bear stood motionless, watching silently, his head cocked ever so slightly whilst I waited.

It was as though he smelt my fear.

Or maybe he smelt the burger, they are quite good.

Click the Creepy Bear Banner to get your very own Creepy Bear Burger!


Pretty flash site hey? no pun intended

The up is that money saved goes to making you burgers. I don't think they used any money to develop fries; irregularly cooked and inconsistent in general.
Trust me that's the only down and you don't need fries anyway fatboy.


I remember when I was young, vaguely.

Lego was fun, like hours lost on the floor kind of fun.

Remember looking for what seemed like forever for that one particular piece that would finish off the space station/ship/moonbase/national security headquarters or whatever the fuck you were making was admittedly infuriating but ultimately satisfying.

In 2008 Lego is Star Wars, Harry Potter and Indiana Jones.
Where's the satisfaction in a lego kit that only builds into a Millennium Falcon and nothing else, and don't say you'd build it into a million other things cause that's crap. You won't.

Plus it's enormous and grey and boring and costs almost a thousand dollars. Imagine what a grand worth of lego would have looked like in 1990.

In 1990, Space Lego was awesome.
It didn't need authorised collectors edition versions and blockbuster cross-promotional themes. It had spaceships with neon green windscreens and sweet names like Celestial Forager, secret building instructions to create super-vehicles from 3 different kits and

Who am I kidding anyway, I don't have money for Lego. I can barely pay my rent but it's nice to go back.


Like Top Deck but sideways

Questionable Holiday Photos

Facebook again.

I swear I don't look for them, they find me.

A little harmless tickling;

Something completely different;

Like this guy hasn't had enough weiner for one day;




What is this place?

Why are there lockdown shutters?

What's the occasion? Who supplied the drugs? Why is tribal tatt looking so humble? What is she whispering in his ear? Where did sleepy smurf put his cigarette?

Does that guy think if he sits near the youngsters eating their faces he might be able to have a nibble?

This photo poses so many questions it makes the back of my eyes hurt.


Draw Four Circles


If the washing machine is in 'excellent condition' but the vacuum cleaner is dodgy I'd like to see his idea of VVVVVNDS

By the way Mr Genius Wordsworth dumped this lot on the footpath the day after hard rubbish collection.